No matter the confusion, pain, or unfortunate bad behavior that has passed between us.

I will always have a sister.

Stubbornness and hurt can allow me to pretend otherwise. But the plain truth is that family bonds endure, even when it feels as though they no longer can. I have an incredible list of people that have been apart of my life, some have stayed and some have left. I have always been blessed with an abundance of people to love. Though, at times, too blind to recognize it and embrace it. I hope that more than a few of those people will be with me for years to come.

I believe that the short and simple truths are often the hardest to accept. While I am certain that in many ways this may continue to be the case for me, there is one truth I can accept. My sister is integral to the girl I was, the girl I am now, and the woman I am still working towards becoming.

There are two women who taught me about what real inner strength looks like, they set the standard on what it means to me to do for yourself and make the world around you follow. They are continually two of the best examples of feminine strength I could find. Between my incredible mother and the amazing little girl who found me and became my sister, I know exactly how possible it is to change your life. To not settle for being unhappy and to keep getting back up and moving forward until life is what I wish it to be. I will forever owe them both for teaching me that.

I love you K.C.

I have always on some level been in awe of who you are inside. More than once my pride in the person my sister manages to be has shown me how to regain pride in myself. Given enough time, you always land on your feet. When there isn’t opportunity to do so? You create it, mold it to your will.

The ability to do that is a beautiful thing.

My wish for you is that while you never stop seeing possibilities for more, for better, that one day you find it no longer necessary to move on. That you no longer need to force change for yourself because you are safe, living well, and happy.

I spent so long refusing to see anything but you shining that I forgot to accept that you are just as flawed as any other human being. Oh, I could technically understand that you must be flawed because, really, what person finding their way in life doesn’t make mistakes?

Often I was too prepared to overlook mistakes made to actually believe it on a deeper level. In the wake of all the things to love about you I missed the fact that your flaws define you. At some point, on some level, you recognized that they existed and altered them until they simply became apart of who you are. They don’t detract from you, they add to you. I’m glad I didn’t miss seeing that completely, but I wish it had happened much sooner. Mostly, I wish that it hadn’t taken a series of painful experiences to see it. The backlash of finally accepting that you were capable of making mistakes that I couldn’t overlook, or that I was capable of doing the same to you, left me numb in a way I was wholly unprepared for. Irrevocably altered. That’s the best way to describe where our friendship stands now. Knowing that makes me sad but dealing with that is so much better than feeling numb.

So my shortest and simplest truth, of many in my life, is that even if we never share another moment where trusting in each other as sisters feels comfortable and safe to do, it is impossible for me to believe that I do not have a sister. I do and she is unforgettable.

To my friend and sister, I love you.

Please stay safe.



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April 17, 2011

i’ve reblogged this before but i just love it.
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~   Neil Gaiman  (via modernhepburn)

(via modernhepburn)

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Opaque  by  andbamnan